Plane journeys are aways a source of fascination. We naturally compare them with our local carrier; AirNZ (best airline 2012). It’s like a blind date that your sister asked her best friend to set you up on – it could be great, or it could be the start of a massive adventure.

Ryan air really has taken the cake (a budget one that has been hollowed out with no filler and reused icing). We arrived at the airport having printed out our boarding passes already- if you haven’t managed this, it’s a 70 euro fine. No luggage ID tags of their own, it’s like the desk clerk stole a pile from Maroc air a few counters over. Finding the counter: Ryan air saves money by not having their name on the departures desk board – yes it was very difficult to find!! out the back in the naughty area for bad airlines!
We have our passports checked, and our boarding passes pre-torn; as if to save that micro second of time at the boarding gate.
As with all airlines , no bottles over 100ml. That means the 4 litre of water and 1 litre of sprite we still have must be consumed ( gulp gulp!)
Going through security, we are split into boys and girls sections. That’s means a pat down from a gentleman with severe body odour and a clip on tie. A man in front of me has a lot of bags, one of which seems to move on its own. No worries, it’s a small dog, which despite being an animal goes on through the X-ray scanner also!
Immigration again was a no smiling zone, ruthless efficiency was the name of the day. A second passport check was in order by a policeman. I’m really not sure what he was looking for as my passport was definitely up side down and the second to last page which he examined was completely empty. It’s almost like his job was invented just to top up the numbers. All jokes aside we are through and waiting for the boarding call and subsequent scrum run to get our none allocated seats.
Emily managed to be ‘Jerry on the spot ‘ – 3 from the front. Yay!! A quick run down the stairs the airport bus awaits. At this point I’m glad I didn’t buy the priority boarding. Of the 5 who did they are on exactly the same airport bus as us. Level playing field. I pick the right hand side of the bus in anticipation of an early exit. We marvel at the runway security. Hordes of people line the runway walking in amongst the re fuelling tankers on to various low cost airlines. You could easily get on the wrong plane if you tried hard enough. We have a small game of chicken with another airport bus coming straight at us, narrowly avoiding mass chaos. Unlike the rest of morocco the road rules are reversed on the runway – a fact not yet outlined in the lonely planet.
First off the bus and first up the stairs! The yelling starts – apparently someone had to claim the bag that has busted open during transit. Not mine, I’m off. First on, first choice of seats.
I feel like I’m in the magic school bus or part of some massive Lego display ; blue and yellow seats, no inflight magazine (there is no pocket to put one in). We finally all get seated, only after the captain (who is wearing a sweater vest and not a captains jacket) comes into the crowd and starts yelling for people to sit down immediately where ever they can!!!

I’ve so far been offered a reheated hotdog for 5 euro ( a steal i know), electric cigarettes (for those who just can’t wait – in 9 varieties, strength and flavour), and now lotto tickets for the Ryan air lotto. This is really a one stop shop.
We land and everybody claps; yes it was a great landing but I think their clapping cause the are alive. The breaks need some work, it was like someone did a handbrake turn into our bay. The door opens and we walk to another airport bus. However instead of the 800m tour of the runway we got last time, we literally did a lap of the plane and then about 10 metres more, exactly the entrance we could see from the plane. Not really sure the point of that bus trip was but I enjoyed it. I love buses.
For all Ryan airs quirks, for 50 bucks a person it was great entertainment. Like a good glass of cheap wine I’d do it again. I am though looking forward to Koru hour though on my next AirNZ flight.